By Kevin Wilson
Hey guys, it’s me again. You folks hear about that executive order thing, with the guns and all? I’m assuming there’s someone that hasn’t, because everyone keeps pasting it across my news feed like it’s going to be the end of the world if there’s someone left on Facebook who hasn’t heard about it by now.
It’s late and I’m drinking, so I’m gonna save everyone the trouble of summarizing the whole sordid affair, other than the say Democrats loved it and Republicans hated it and absolutely no one is surprised.
*Stares in Freedom*
When you get down to reading the new series of orders and actions, it does fuck all. You can go to the White House’s website and read the overly emotional ode to the children if you really want, but I wouldn’t recommend it without an insulin pen on standby. Here’s a summary. Policy wise, it does nothing drastic, and nothing that will either have a noticeable impact on gun crime or 2A rights. Most serious gun owners I know read it, shrugged, and went back to shooting their hot freedom loads, business as usually.
I cannot for the life of me figure out why people are losing their minds over this shit. Did y’all actually bother to read it before you started screaming about how it was going to save the children or start the revolution (you know who you are)?
Do you even know what an executive order is? If you got the answer from a meme, the answer is no, and you can go fuck yourself.
Alright, I’m gonna break this down real simple: you know how your boss said that shooting up with vodka was still in violation of company policy, even after you argued that the rule book never once mentioned mainlining Grey Goose? It’s like that.
The President is not capable of making major policy initiatives without approval of the Legislative Branch. In other words, he cannot make law. But he can advise governmental agencies that fall under the purview of the Executive Branch about how he believes the law should be interpreted and enforced, so long as his interpretation falls within the bounds of constitutionality and court precedent.
The President may also use executive orders to respond to crises, which can cover everything from responding to natural disasters to deciding deploying the military in a hostile (read: shooty) manner for up to 72 hours without asking Congress for a declaration of war.
My God, that’s what that meant?
For those who argue that executive orders have no basis in the constitution, you are technically correct. The term is never mentioned once. The authority of the President to issue executive orders is derived from the constitutional mandate to “take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed”.
It is, after all, the job of the Executive Branch to, you know, execute the laws made by the Legislative Branch.
That’s part of that whole checks and balances thing. Congress makes the laws, the President is ultimately responsible for making sure they’re carried out, and the Courts are on standby in case either one of them screws the pooch.
Executive orders have been a massively useful tool for the Presidency over the centuries. Although no one can come close to FDR’s record of 3,522, only one president managed to go without issuing a single one. That president, by the way, was William Harrison. He died 32 days into his term, which is kinda embarrassing when you realize he also holds the record for longest inaugural speech.
So yeah. Though the term “executive order” was never once mentioned in the Constitution, the record will show that the office of the Presidency has given exactly zero fucks.
So that’s how that works.
As was mentioned earlier, as long as the orders don’t violate the constitution, neither do the courts. As far as the courts are concerned, executive orders are considered to be perfectly legal, if not as legally binding as Congressional writ.
So where does that leave us on the current round of executive orders that has exactly one half of the country jizzing frantically into their little liberal undershorts while the other half angrily snorts CLP while sticking pins in their custom made Presidential voodoo dolls?
Hard to say. I’m no expert, but this looks to be as hollow and cynical as any other political maneuver made in the history of mankind. At best, it’s a way for President Obama to demonstrate to his supporters that he’s really trying to do something about the perceived epidemic of gun violence. At worst, it’s a shot across the bow of the gun rights advocates, letting them know that change is in the air.
Whatever the case may be, the net effect of the new orders is close to zero. So maybe we should all take a few deep breaths, have a drink, and save our energy for the next thing the media tells us we should be outraged about.